Xeno Foils 3 Plots by Evil Gnomes

By | July 7, 2006

News flash! Xeno, thanks to years of careful intelligence work, has prevented three horrid plots to terrorize Americans. High level sources, which could not be named due to the sensitivity of the matter, stated that three distinct terror plots by the cell known as the “Evil Gnomes” were foiled today. The undisclosed number of terrorists arrested, who are now being held in one or more undisclosed locations, had not yet progressed to the operational phase of their plots. No actual change in the planet Neptune’s orbit was detected, 250 million clown noses filled with itching powder had not yet been purchased and it was unclear how long the third plot, filling the Grand Canyon with Basmati Rice, would actually take. Mortimer Snerd, the confessed ringleader, admitted during interrogation that he was guilty of everything anyone wanted him to be guilty of in order to stop being interrogated… including being a communist, a terrorist and a witch. He also confessed to associating with zombie al Quaeda mermaids from Norway … and to being Hitler’s mother. [ See: Terror Plot Foiled ]

Just kidding, but you now live in a world where all they have to do is say you were part of a “plot” or a group that was discussing a possible attack. That’s it. They don’t need to show that you had weapons, money, maps, nothing. You get to say nothing. They tell the press you confessed. It is just their word against your vanished carcass. Know too much about crimes? Say good bye. No checks and balances. Ultimate power under the cloak of national security. Inevitably ultimately corrupt.

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