Sure we’ve seen canned bacon before, but I don’t want to seem I give preferential treatment to one pig’s belly over another, so here’s Tac Bac! Like its competitor, this bacon is good for TEN FREAKIN’ YEARS. Buy now and you can eat the very same can in 2019 while huddled in your basement praying the robots’ heat sensors can’t reach you down there. Each tactical can will set you back $16 and contains approximately 54 strips of fatty pig. Definitely not the cheapest thing to survive on, but it’s worlds better than ten year old Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs, which, I don’t care if they’re the last things on earth, are still illegal.
Get it soon because meat is going to be a lot less tasty in the future:
… If you like a tasty slab of meat, make sure you place your orders soon. Pork chops will become soggier and paler as the world warms, say veterinary scientists, and steaks could become blander, leaner, darker and more prone to spoilage.
This is all because the quality of our meat depends on whether or not animals experience heat stress during transport to the abattoir.
Cattle begin to suffer heat stress at 20 °C, pigs at 31 °C. “The one thing we can be sure of is that they’ll experience those harmful temperatures more often with climate change,” says Neville Gregory of the Royal Veterinary College in Hatfield, UK.
Gregory has spent over a decade studying how meat quality varies with the temperature at which farm animals are kept. In a paper published in Food Research International this month, he puts his findings in the context of future climate change.
Unless farmers take protective measures, global warming will make pork soggier and paler, says Gregory.Normally, after an animal dies, energy reserves – in the form of glycogen – are broken down into lactic acid, causing the carcass pH to fall from 7.0 to 5.5. But heat-stressed pork acidifies more quickly. When this happens, muscle proteins fall apart, and as a result so does the meat’s structure. – newsci