Picnic Table Molester Released

By | April 3, 2008

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UPDATE: Charges have been dropped against 40-year-old Art Price, Jr., but he’s not yet in the clear, police say. Price was facing public indecency charges. The case has been turned over to the Huron County prosecutor. That office will conduct a full investigation and present the case before a grand jury.

Specific charges will depend on whether the school was in session at the time.


BELLEVUE — Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table. Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price. The neighbor — who wishes to remain anonymous — saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we’re told. A neighbor videotaped Price. “The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table,” Johnson says. Police say Price admitted to the crimes — four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies. “What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it’s likely to be viewed by a minor,” Johnson explains.

The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance. “He shouldn’t be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again — and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance,” says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor. Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they’re now worried about the kids.

“Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don’t get a lot of the information so they aren’t so cruel to the little kids,” says Emily Grote, a neighbor. This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. “Once you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes around,” Johnson says. –wtol

Sure, why not. None of this will matter when a black hole eats the Earth.

4 thoughts on “Picnic Table Molester Released

  1. Ann

    Xeno, you’re funny: “Sure, why not. . . . when a black hole eats the Earth.” Ha!

    But, seriously, a few weeks ago (?) some guy in England (?) got in trouble for having sex with a bicycle and now a picnic table! What it called when a person has sex with inanimate objects? Is it on the rise – no pun intended. (Well, there always rumors, urban legends (?) about women and gear shifters . . . Then, again there’s vibrators – which leads to this thought: when is masturbation … Oh, never mind!)

  2. Xeno Post author

    When is it what?

    Seems like a story you’d find on The Onion. Cracks me up. Every time I look at that picture and think of this guy branded for life as the table molester… What a ridiculous thing to do in your back yard. Perhaps he was the victim of a remote control mind experiment.

  3. Ann

    I think it’s merely called a “fetish”, a pathological, supposedly, fixation, fantasy or behavior for/with an inanimate object. Usually it’s clothes (not picnic tables and bicycles).

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