We meditate together. I have an app for my iPhone called equanimity that has nice chimes and let’s me write journal entries. It also tracks and charts my dedication to the practice. Doing this with my life partner, even when we are apart, is one of the things I deeply love about her.
In my search for inner peace yesterday, I consulted my friend the Tibetan guru. I bought him lunch and learned of a practice of exchanging ones goodness for the things that anger you about others.
He did this on a week long Buddhist retreat with an amazing real world result.
It sounded absurd to me at first, but if you understand that your feelings about others are yours, something you own, the reason is clear. This is similar to cognitive behavioral therapy where you find your negative illogical “tapes”, the things you say to yourself that cause distress, and update them to be realistic. But done correctly, holistically, you also replace the body sensations of anger–or whatever you are working on–with your new calm in the here and now, imprinting that new sensation over your old memories.
This is my work this morning, replacing anger with positive strength and compassion. Our biggest concerns or problems are our best sources of energy.