Jesus fails to show at 2nd coming…

By | October 30, 2009

Jesus fails to show at 2nd coming...Enjoyed the introduction though. I’m a scientific thinker, but I had fun imagining that some real Jesus person would walk onto the stage and say something.

No matter what you believe, if Jesus Christ really did walk onto a stage after a great introduction like that, what  do you think his first line should be? Something funny?

I was thinking, before even speaking, he should pull a miracle. What would be a good opening miracle?  What would leave no doubt about tricks or mass hallucinations?

Leave a comment with your ideas for opening Jesus lines and miracles.

11 thoughts on “Jesus fails to show at 2nd coming…

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  2. Ann

    God!

    Do we know our “Jesus” or not?

    Which intepretation of “Jesus” do people want. Jesus the celebrity? Jesus who spoke for the poor? Or, Jesus the revolutionary, which, indeed, he was.

    Does anyone really think, if “Jesus” would appear, he would use a stage? What about walking midst the people?

    Anyway, why in hell, would He “appear”? For those who really believe, for those who really have the faith of a “mustard seed” … isn’t He among us anyway?

    To me, this is so funny! At the same time, it is also sickening: America’s celebrity-like “Jesus.”

    If anything turns me off to America’s form of Christianity this sure does.

    1. Holly Holy

      They say he stood on a mountain once to give a sermon. Why do you think he would not stand on a stage? Perhaps he could do some singing or juggling, you know, entertain people a bit, win over new coverts. I’m sick of the imaginary Jesus causing so many unresolved debates for so many years. I say bring out the real one. And now… Live … on stage …. Jeeeeeesus Chriiiist!

  3. Ann

    Exactly, Holly Holy this is what America wants an entertaining, “make-me-happy” Jesus Christ Super Star of the 21st Century.

    Yes, he stood on the mount and gave a sermon, but how many times did He walk among the people. How many times did he talk to people on the street? How many times did he touch the sick, the leper and the blind?

    Did He not make the elite of Israel angry? And, He paid the price in the end.

    And, more importantly what did He say to the profiteers in the temple? It is, I think, the only place, according to the 4 gospels of the New Testament, when Jesus got angry.

    What would He say to the profiteering media industry who front a religious show … as if it was a … church or a temple?

  4. Ann

    Not to be obnoxious, but what was Jesus’ sermon on the mount?

    Something to with the “beatitudes”?

    Something about the “poor,” the “meek,” the “merciful,” and the “peacemakers”?

    No, I don’t think if Jesus showed up today many Americans would like his sermon.

    But, that’s ok bring on the “jugglers and the clowns”, we got enough them in our churches anyway. We always pretend as if we’re righteous.

  5. Roger L

    Humankind… you evolved… (long pause) … by accident … (longer pause) … as a result of contamination from one of our projects. I’m sorry, but you are a mistake. The things you believe about me… were happy stories, just stories… written by your ancestors to make you feel better. Don’t hate them. They meant well. I’ve never been on earth before… until right now. Now that I’m here, however, I want to invite you to join my friends and I as we work on saving the universe. We will be sharing information with your scientists about how you can contribute. In return, we can help you with certain technological advances. Your days of need are over. Food, water, energy, these will be limitless if used according to our instructions. We will tell you what you need to know to repair and regenerate your bodies. Death by old age ends today. You are rough approximations of what you could be, what you soon will be. When you wake up tomorrow, you will be an entirely new species, a calm, clear thinking species, unified as you should be. I know you have questions. So do we. We will return in 5,000 years to see how you are doing with the information we’ve sent. Good luck, human primates.

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